Secret’s Eve November 2, 2009

Hope everyone had a great Halloween/Samhain/Celtic New Year/All Saint’s Day……. The list goes on. I always find that this time of the year is when people really show their creative side. Thanks Crystal for the party. I forgot to bob for apples. This time also makes me think of secrets. In the innocent sense of finding areas of a person that you never knew before. A point of view that they had, a pet peeve, or a hidden talent. Then there are the ones that are a little deeper. Those are the ones just below the surface. Its there to find out to those who have the time and patience to scratch that first layer or two off. These are hopes, fears, and aspirations. This is not for everyone. These are for those who are truely labeled “friends”. Not ones that you know their name and can talk to the passing down the hall. You can sit outside with them talking about nothing for hours. I’ve found that most people have lost how to truely communicate. Small talk doesn’t count.

Then there are those secrets that get little to no light or air. These are buried so deep you can almost forget they’re there. But theres always something in life to nugde it and remind you. Some may only be big to the one keeping it. Like a certain belief that isn’t the norm. Theres something about it that makes you keep it; a past mistake or insecurity. To most people this secret wouldn’t be a problem. Even if it was to some there are enough supportive people around that it wouldn’t matter. If you’re lucky a trusted few know and can help alleviate the pressure. Making it easier to open to another. Then there the ones that (almost) never get out. The ones that are so hard to think of its almost a festering wound when you do. Its always there, always present. Just pushed to the back. It colors little things that you think and do. Since its been there so long you never know how much it affects you. But its all the little things it affects that add up. If you’re lucky someone will come along that fits perfectly into the tiny wholes to that secret. It always takes a while, but its part of life that there are two people that will just fit right. This isn’t always a significant other. There is too much variety and chaos in the world for all people to just have one other side. Why can’t other people have pieces that connect with you?

Having that one person who will listen and not judge is a great gift. There may be a lot of confusion and understanding may never happen. But the listening and being heard it the important part. I’m very happy for those select few that I can open up to. Thank you. There are also some that i need to get the courage up to tell some secrets too. It’ll take me a while and no way will it be all at once. But it will happen. You know who you are for either group.

Wow, didn’t mean to get all serious. You find out funny things when you let your writing flow. Now I need that flow for my essay….

Presents October 6, 2009

How is everyone today? I’m doing pretty good myself. Keeping up with my homework so far. I feel like a nerd sometimes because I plan out all my homework weeks in advance to i don’t forget anything and get to have some free time here and there.

I like to pose questions to people to see their opinions as well as process my own thoughts while laying this out. So bare with me if there seems to be some random jumps.

What makes a good present? Does it have to be useful? Whose feelings are most important in giving it?

For some these questions may seem a bit odd. But I’ve seen people who are more worried about how they feel about giving the present. They want to feel the graditute more than making the other person feel happy. Happy would probably be good since they will be more likely to give the graditute then if not. But people are good liers anyways. You can’t always tell if someone likes what they got since you don’t see them all the time or are at their place to see them use/wear/appreciated the present. Of course there is always the ones that feel like they need to give something useful in some way. Something for around the house, school, or anything else in that manner. But can’t we all use a bit of the ridiculous sometimes? A purse, game, hell a bunch of marbles. What seems most important is making the other person smile or laugh.

I usually don’t have too much in mind when I’m looking for a person’s present. I have an idea, but not much else. I’m one of those people that likes to go to random places, just see the item and go “ah!”.

For those of you who’ve gotten gifts for me what do you think of what I got you? Is my method working for me? Any other thoughts or comments?

First time September 29, 2009

Lets see how this works. Thanks Izzy and Crystal for the idea. I guess this could be a way for people to see what I do regularly or randomly. Also, it could be a way for people to better understand what I do and how I think. It can be kind of like my journal, except I’ll still do that for the more personal stuff I want to keep to myself.

Not much is going on. Just doing school, work, and hanging with people the best I can. Time seems to be getting away from. Although it never was ours, but thats besides the point. ^.^ Trying to figure out stuff for graduate school now. Also studying for the GRE. I’m hopeing to get into the U of M again for anthropology. Fingers crossed. Need to figure out the last place im going to apply to. Good thing the second job ended until december becaus I have a lot to do for that on top of regular homework.

Ok, this should be good enough for now. Hope people have a nice but imperfect day. Let me know if theres anything you want to hear about.