Afraid to Start Something New

It’s always hard to start new; whether that’s in a new place, job, or venture. Unluckily (or luckily, I’m not quite sure yet) I’m almost working from scratch. Moved to a new place where the only ones I know are the ones I moved with, had to settle for a crappy job quick just to pay the bills, and settling for very few options for things to do in the area.

Now, I’m not saying its bad here. But when you come from a city to a small town it’s a shock.

Part of my problem is that I want to start something here but some things are holding me back. Starting a writing group, taking up ceramics again, teaching belly dance; in the end it’s up to me to do something. And I don’t have the confidence to do it.

One part is that I’m an introvert by nature. I don’t like to be the center of attention. Don’t get me wrong, there are times I love to be in the middle of things. And all of these takes a leadership role, something I feel like I’m good at. Another part is cost. I barely make enough to pay my bills with a little left over so I can have a little fun. Another is initiative. I have no idea where to get answers, experience, people to join, or a dozen other questions I cant even think of.

one more is the will to add one more thing to my list. Now I know I don’t have much to complain about. I don’t have kids or a full time job on top of trying to do a hundred other things. But I’m also trying to write books and sell photography.

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